A Self Reflection...

When it comes to how I think of myself and my body--my body image--there is a definite disconnect. My body weight, shape, and size have been an issue for me since adolescence. I used to (and sometimes still) look in the mirror and criticize my body and think negative thoughts. During the day I'm thinking about how my fatness affects how I look in my clothes. I avoid mirrors. I am wondering if anyone would ever be attracted to me and I'm thinking about how they perceive me (I tend to live in my head at times). I am quite self-conscious. According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), I have a negative body image:

Negative body image is . . .

• A distorted perception of your shape--you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are.
• You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure.
• You feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body.
• You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.

Also they say:

People with negative body image have a greater likelihood of developing an eating disorder and are more likely to suffer from feelings of depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and obsessions with weight loss.

And I can certainly say I have problems with overeating, have had problems being severely depressed about my body (to he point of not wanting to leave the house), and not being at ease in certain social situations. I would say if you looked at my PREVIOUS ENTRIES on this blog, you might get hints of these things as well.

I'm a believer that hatred and dislike--of others and of self--is not inborn, but TAUGHT and LEARNED. It makes sense that this negative self concept I've developed was learned from someone or something; and I would venture to say it comes from my interaction with others in my life. In Sociology I learned that a lot of our self concept comes from how others (family, friends, lovers, people we're interested in etc) view us: our "looking glass self." Moreover the images we're bombarded with on a daily basis are also a major force in our self-concept. When it comes to women you typically hear about living up to the images of supermodels and Barbies, but I think what people ignore is that men go through body image issues as well.

So now that I've determined I have a negative body image--how do I determine what is a positive body image? The NEDA definition of positive body image is:

Positive body image is . . .

• A clear, true perception of your shape--you see the various parts of your body as they really are.
• You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person`s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
• You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories.
• You feel comfortable and confident in your body.

So as part of my health goals, I want to develop a POSITIVE body image by trying to keep these points in mind.

But I want to have a nicely sculpted and muscular body! Is this mutually exclusive with me wanting to have a positive body image? Does me being gay having anything to do with this? And what does this say about male body image in the media? I'll touch on these topics in my next post!

Feel free to comment on what YOU think!

Moving Right Along...

Yes, this blog is officially back in business... back to Takin' Care of Business! But I think I should provide some updates as to the direction of the blog and my new goals.

Mission Statement: To chronicle my journey in the betterment of my health and explore health issues with my readership.

I want to take a moment and define "health." The World Health Organization defines health as:

"complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."

From a young age I've always been taunted about my weight and so naturally I've wanted to "lose weight." Losing weight was important not for health reasons but because of the psychological damage of the taunting and the poor body image it created. But I believe focusing on this one goal has been rather short sighted. What I'm realizing now as an adult is that my being overweight (technically obese) is the cause of several problems that I need to deal with.

It seems more reasonable to focus on overall health since weight is an aspect of health and all the components of health are linked together. To achieve betterment in health I believe that it's logical that these several areas are of importance:

Physical Health

• Exercise
• Nutrition
• Sleep

Mental Health

• Body image
• Positive self-affirmation
• A support network
• Stress management
• Spirituality

By no means is that an extensive list, but it covers some major areas. My posts will explore healthy goal formation in these arenas and as per my mission statement, I'll also explore various health topics by sharing articles and resources and providing commentary.

You'll be here with me when I face my challenges... when I fall down and when I get back up. I hope that if anything my journey in self-help can help you.

And so here I pledge my commitment to improve my health and call forth witnesses to sign in the form of comments of this post. I hope you all enjoy watching my journey!

"The Second Time Around" or "After The Freshman Fifteen"

Well I'm back in the game but I'm a bit behind. In fact I've gained weight (the dreaded freshman 15) and I'm heavier than when I initially started this blog. From reading my posts it probably seems like my efforts have been pretty pathetic. Well, the stress of college and the fact that I had to deal with the after effects of Hurricane Katrina probably have a lot to do with it. Less excuses though and more action. I plan to duplicate what I did in 2005. Because I've started my internship earlier I get to start exercising earlier and doing it longer! I am really excited about what is going to happen and the goals I will achieve. Once I get back into the flow I'll plan ways to become a creature of habit for the next semester. I am going to the gym later today--I've actually been dieing to get moving lately. I just wonder how much of a shock it will be for me to adjust and get back into my routine. Well, for now, Sianara!

Take it with a grain of salt...

I couldn't fit exercise into my schedule due to an 8 am class and financial issues, but I did have a low calorie intake. My semester overall is oging well, tommorow is a brand new day. Trust that I will be at the gym bright an early.

"He got that ambition baby..."

YEAH!!!

I am doing great so far! I hope to be posting less of the little accomplishments as they will become commonplace. Big things are to come! I made it up at 8:30 and exercised for about 45 minutes on the elliptical... I made several iPod playlists for exercising, so I am not having a hard time at all. BIG THINGS ARE TO COME! My types of exercise need to be varied so that I don’t plateau! Let’s hope that doesn’t happen! *crossing fingers*

But anyway, I had Gatorade for breakfast lol. It hydrated me and nourished me. Don’t worry; I usually eat some fruit now for breakfast. I made it to lunch and had a questionable meal… It was like some pork, greens, and eggplant stir-fry or something. That means I am going to have a light dinner. I guess since I have a definite source of food (the caf) I need to exert full control over it

You know, I need to find out the hours of the gym so that I can more fully coordinate it with my schedule…

New Lease on Health

I just looked at a recent picture of myself… UNACCEPTABLE

Afer a successful summer (preceding posts), I am now at University and my whole weight loss dynamic has changed... I got independence baby!

I need to reequip myself with the tools I had over the summer, specifically my scale. I have no idea where I am now in terms of weight...

Food availability is different… I have to eat from the caf, but all I have to do is make the right choices. I will attempt a low calorie diet (LCD). The calories I do get will be from quality food sources… which means NO SNACK MACHINE! Lol.

I will do as much as I did in the summer to achieve the same results. In a time span of a about a month, I lost five pounds. If I can recreate that and adhere for the semester, I could loose up to twenty pounds (five pounds x four months). I am just worried that I will not be able to weight train as I did before, but I am going to experiment for a month without it. Maybe I will loose more weight considering I am not gaining muscle mass.

My goal is going to be hard given that I now have challenging classes to deal with and that for two moths it will be very cold. BUT I AM UP TO IT! Tomorrow is when the campus gym officially opens for the spring semester of 2006. I am so psyched and ready! I’ll be in bed by 10, wake up early at 8, and go to the gym….

I can't change where I've been, but I can change where I am going. So as of midnight, my slate is wiped clean. I am starting over... I have a new lease on health!

Good things come to those who wait...

Mood: Relieved

Looks like I didn't do that bad after all! I neglected to mention why I was in such a bad mood my last post. It was because my family decided to go to..... FIVE GUYS... That is the worst possible place to go if your trying to loose weight. I caved in and feasted. The day before I had also ate way too much sugar, like on a previous post (you know, "SUGAR, YEEEEEE!"). But I didn't gain a pound. I could have lost more however. I just got on the scale and says that I weight 260 even. That means I lost 1/2 a pound.

I controlled my eating today and I just got back from the gym and so I know if I continue to do well, I'll see results before I leave. I just have to be patient. I must remember, "Good things come to those who wait."

Crab Bucketin'

Mood: Frustrated

The past few days I haven't posted, I haven't stuck to my routine in terms of my eating. I even think I am gaining back my weight! I still have time to salvage my progress though. I have two weeks until I leave. If I truly buckle down and become very strict, I will make it. I must try very hard.

I'm really upset because I haven't seen any physical changes... I still have these large deposits of fat on my body, and they're not going anywhere. I really feel like I want to give up, but I cant. I need some motivation or something. But what???

Tommorow I'll try hard to stick to what I promised myself...

He's a Maniac !!!

Mood: Pumped

Yes, I did it! I went to the gym this mornin'! Right now after the exercise I feel pumped and ready to go! So for the rest of the day I'll be burnin' those calories. My only regret is that I didn't get enough time in for pumpin' some iron. But that's okay. I can work on whatever later today (if I don't procastinate, lol). I'm gonna check my weight on Friday and see how I've done. Now off to work!

Up in the Mornin'

Mood: Ready

Ttoday didn't start off well seeing as how I forgot my gym clothes. I told myself I would walk the 4 miles from the subway I used to walk last year to get exercise, but that didn't work out. One of my good friends gave me a ride home. Since I have an appointment tommorow after work, I'll just go to the gym really early tommorow morning. I'll try to be there at 8:30 am. So that means I have to go to bed at 10:00 pm! I'll get up by 7:30, be there at 8:30, and be to work at 9:30/10. Good luck to me!

The Big Five

Mood: Energized

Well, it looks like my hard work has been paying off! When I stepped on the scale this morning, I weighed 260.5 lbs. So that's roughly five pounds lost! I am getting stronger too. I am now able to do real push ups, but I can't go all the way down yet. I am quite happy, and hope that my weight loss over time isn't linear, but becomes exponential! For now I’ll keep on eating right and exercising daily (at least trying :))! In fact, this week I’ll work extra hard! I’ll have about 2 weeks, and then I go clothes shopping for college. I really hope by then, there will be some significant changes. I am going to get some good rest tonight so I can be at work early, and get to the gym earlier!

SYNERGY

Mood: Happy

So I didn't post yesterday, but I did go to the gym. I tried the elliptical machine again--this time on a higher level. About a third of the way through, I didn't think I could make it, but I did! In fact, this time I burned more calories than last time!

In the mornings I have to walk from the subway to my work a fixed distance. Usually when I get there, I'm drenched from the summer heat. But today I noticed I sweat less than I usually do. I am sure that means something, but I don't know what!

Again, I am not going to be able to go the gym today because I have important college related things to do tonight. It's getting annoying because my original plan was to go everyday to the gym, but I always get sidetracked every OTHER day. Geez!

Dealing with my weight training, I think I am going to have to increase my reps on the machines. I am still not feeling it the next day, which I should. I think I'll start on 30-45 lbs on most arm machines, for example, and do at least 5-7 sets of 15. Also, to remind myself, Monday will be my torso day, since I am missing it today. I'll try to increase the number of sets I do by decreasing the weight a bit. I do, however, feel somewhat stronger.

Finally, when I got on the scale this morning, it said that I weighed 261 lbs. I think I am makin' some real progress! I'll check back in on next Friday and she how much I weigh then.

I have quite a bit to do at work today, so I gtg!

Bleh

Mood: T'ed off

Unfortunately I am going to be unable to go the gym today because I have a conflicting appointment.

I was successful in doing the new exercises, and now I have some more variety. However, my torso workout hasn't left me sore today, like some of my first workouts. Even my workout the day before didn't seem good enough. I am not sure if I am doing the right thing. I've heard if you do a lot of reps with a little weight you can achieve what I am looking for (shaping and toning). But if you do a lot of weight with less reps, you bulk up. I am still trying to figure out a balance between reps, sets, and weight. I think I'll ask for some advice... but who? I'll mull over that until my next post.

We have the power to rebuild him...

Mood: Excited

Hey! I just found the coolest website. It has a list of tons of exercises and a list of the muscle groups. It even has animations for how you're supposed to do the exercises! I am going to use some of them at the gym today. I'm anxious to get there!

Today I'll try two machines I saw, also from what I've seen on the website:

• The Cable Side Bend (pull up)
• Broom Stick Twist
• Incline Twisting Crunch (with weight)
• Lever Chest Dip

I'll see how it goes...

Mood: Satisfied

I just got back from the gym. Very satisfying. I tried the eliptical machine which is much more strenuous than the exercise bike (it was getting boring...). The muscle group I worked today was arms. I covered the biceps, triceps, and deltoids. For some reason however, in some resepects I feel like I didn't work hard enough. Maybe I'm suffering from muscle bordem, but I don't feel as sore or tiered as I usually do after I come from the gym. Maybe I just have to wait until tommorow for it to kick in. The exercise may have given me an energy boost as well. Tommorow I am going to work harder. I'll be covering the torso muscle group. Now I must rest to regenerate and rejuvinate mind, body, and soul.

Suggestions...

Mood: Motivated

I just got a suggestion for my meal plans from a friend. He said to split my 3 meals into 5 smaller meals over the course of the day. Since I wake up at like 7:30, the 1st would be at 7:45 am, the next at 11 am, the next at 1 pm, then at 4 pm, finally at 7 pm for dinner. He said that your body goes into starvation mode whenver you don't eat for 3 hours. This would prevent that and glucose spikes. A typical meal day he says would be:

meal 1: Cereal with lots of fiber (at least 7g)
meal 2: Fruit, Yogurt
meal 3: Lunch (like a sandwhich and drink)
meal 4: Protein Bar
meal 5: Dinner (fish or some other lean meat w/veggies

That makes meals 1-4 easy to count...

Day of Reckoning

Well, time for the daily check in:

I completed one of my goals! I got a scale! *Drumroll please!*

My official weight is.... 265 lbs.

The good news: That's nowhere near my previous estimate of 279 lbs
The other good news: I can now track my weight, and I know I still gotta lotta loosin' ta do!

Notice there is no bad news. Almost. Let's just say it involves pizza.

I started a late morning (which I am trying not to do anymore) with one of my boost energy drinks. Then, my family and I went to Subway. I am very proud of myself because I made some very good food choices. I had the 6'' Cold Cut Classic with some Baked chips. My drink was water. Later today, I had a vitamin water. Finally for dinner, since we were running low on cash, I unfortunately had to eat pizza. I had 3 slices. But I noticed one thing after consumption. My stomach felt and still does feel nauteous. I think this is because I have been eating realtively healthy for the past two weeks and that large intake of grease upset my stomach. I showed some real inner strength because I usually would eat 4-5 slices of pizza. So I can now do a calorie estimate. From now on, I'll probably just log what foods I ate and find the calories lately. Overall, I think I did well with my choices, considering I had no control over the pizza incident.

Now, however, I have new found confidence and I am ready to show the world what I can do with myself. Last night after my last post, I came up with a detailed exercise plan that I intend to carry out starting tommorow (Another goal completed!). I decided that if I won't go the gym on Saturdays, I'll have to be very careful about what I eat (yet another goal). A late night of washing clothes awaits and I must get to work early. I'm going to keep trying to do impossible.

SUGAR, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Whoa. It's Saturday night and I am tired. I feel kind of geeky seeing as how I am not out tonight, but I spent some good time looking around for a potential laptop for college. I also got some really good driving experience. I'll be getting my DL this month. In fact, I must remember to write in my log of driving experience and go to the DMV.

You know, I am considering going to the gym on Saturdays... I have to be in the doors by 12pm in order to workout. That would take a big commitment on my part. The Question is: am I up to it? Well, I'll probably be able to make a decision by tomorrow. I must remember this as well. It's very important.

Today I ate too much sugar! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SUGAR!!!! I think I am going to set a limit of how much I'll have in a day. Luckily, that's all I really ate today. But let's do a recap:

• 1 Boost High Protein Energy Drink (to rebuild muscle)
• 1 Starbucks Grande Mint Mocha Chip Frappuccino
• 1 12 oz. Sunkist Soda
• 1 medium Subway Soda (I forgot which kind of soda it was... I think iced tea)
• 1 Subway Oatmeal Cookie
• 1 Subway White Chocolate Chip Cookie

Total calories: 1780
Total carbohydrates: 264 g
Total Sugars: 205 g

OMG, that's kind of ridiculous-- all those calories from just sweets. Good thing I only had sushi today. From looking at various sources, I estimate that that sushi was about 500-600 calories, making my entire input for the day 2280-2380 calories. I've never recorded how much sugar I've consumed in one day. I think I know what I need to work on. These foods were rich in simple sugars, meant for immediate use. But I didn't do any exercises today! So those are going to turn to fat (at least I think). This means I must work extra hard this coming week.

I have to have some boundaries and be conscious of them. For instance, I might limit the days I have sweets, and/or how much I would consume in one day. I don’t want something like today happen again.

I found some neat websites for help in calorie counting and other aspects of my goals:

• Nutrition Data
• Diet Facts
• Calorie Calculator
  
• RMR Calculator
• Virtual Fitness Trainer (The site that the above RMR calculator is on)

I've also found a place where I can buy an electronic scale, Wal-Mart. I'll do it tomorrow! Some of them that read body fat and weight look tempting.

Speaking of body fat, I learned that for every 3500 calories you burn, you melt away one pound of fat. So going by this standard, I plan to burn 500 more calories than I intake daily. If I do that for a work week, that's 2500 cals, and If I actually do go the gym on Saturday, then it would ber 3000 cals. I have about 4-5ish weeks left. Everyone's metabolism is different, but going by this, I will be able to loose at least 5 lbs. I'm considering that I would lower my calorie intake to 2100 calories. I again, will come up with a more detailed version of how I'll track this calorie extravaganza. Just for kicks though, lets see how many calories I burned by subtracting my estimate from my RMR:

2380 calories - 2587.5 calories (RMR) = -207.5 calories

Well at least I burned some cals. My total outpout theoretically would be:

(calories consumed) - RMR - (calories burned)

When I get the scale, I'll post some detailed info based on what the scale spits out to me. This will include weight obviously, RMR, BMI, and body fat percentage (if I get a scale that reads it).

lol. Looks like I have a list of things to remember. Just for the record, here they are:

• Buy a scale tomorrow
• Remember to go to DMV
• Make up my mind about Saturdays at the gym
• Come up with the detailed plan to track progress (perheaps some setup on excel)
  

Now I must make my way to la-la land.

You know, I just realized. I'll need to work more muscle groups than I listed earlier. I think I might split my time up between them. Possibly:

Day 1: Torso/upper body (abs, pecs, obliques)
Day 2: Arms (triceps, biceps, deltoids)
Day 3: Wednesday: Legs/lower body (quadriceps, calves, hamstrings)

You're not supposed to work the same muscle groups everyday because it could result in muscle damage. Luckily, this routine will allow me to train everyday without doing that. Just an update on some things I was thinkin bout.

Routines, Routines, Routines...

Well my current workout routine goes a little something like this:

• 45 min - 1 hr on the tread mill (cardio, fat burn, or hill plus).
• 3 sets of 15 reps on several machines that work biceps, triceps, deltoids, and pectorals (30-45 lbs). This takes about another 30 minutes.

Note, I am doing the treadmil everyday, and weight training only 3 days a week.

So after some careful study of some good websites, I am going to make improvements to my routine. I will have a more well established one on record here that I'll update as I get stronger (I hope!).

So the proposed improvements:

• I might consider doing H.I.I.T. (High Intensity Interval Training). which seems quite promising. In fact I think I could incorporate it using the hill plus program on the exercise bike that I used toady!
• Also, an A.M. 30 min workout would work well, according to this article. I could possibly just add it to my current routine and be able to do 2 workouts as suggested could be done.
• In terms of weight training, the website I provided in my previous post seems to look good. One particular section should help me with my form, and the direction I shall take with the training.
  
• Sleep! I'll need to catch up on my sleep to be more healthy as well. That means no more late nights like this one!
• Nutrition-wise, I know my goals. I have carbs to give me fuel (simple carbs burn faster for immediate use and complex digest slower) and proteins to rebuild my muscle. If I feel I need to, I might follow some arbitary diet at one point (they all really never work and/or last). I basically eat healthy, but I just have deal with overeating. I'll definetly take a better look at this myself, along with science of it all. I mean, I do plan to become a doctor in case you didn't know!
  
• Finally, to fight muscle boredom, I'll have to change-up exercises. Changing the frequency, intensity, or variety of weight exercises shouldn't be hard, but this means otherwise I'll have to try something other than the exercise bike! I'm thinking anything but the treadmill, because my doctor said to loose at least 50 lbs before I start running.
  

A full fledged plan! Overall this should help me with effective fat burn and muscle building! I will post a new and revised exercise routine soon.

Wow, I got quite a bit done!