When it comes to how I think of myself and my body--my body image--there is a definite disconnect. My body weight, shape, and size have been an issue for me since adolescence. I used to (and sometimes still) look in the mirror and criticize my body and think negative thoughts. During the day I'm thinking about how my fatness affects how I look in my clothes. I avoid mirrors. I am wondering if anyone would ever be attracted to me and I'm thinking about how they perceive me (I tend to live in my head at times). I am quite self-conscious. According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), I have a negative body image:
Negative body image is . . .
- A distorted perception of your shape--you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are.
- You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure.
- You feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body.
- You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.
Also they say:
People with negative body image have a greater likelihood of developing an eating disorder and are more likely to suffer from feelings of depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and obsessions with weight loss.
And I can certainly say I have problems with overeating, have had problems being severely depressed about my body (to he point of not wanting to leave the house), and not being at ease in certain social situations. I would say if you looked at my PREVIOUS ENTRIES on this blog, you might get hints of these things as well.
I'm a believer that hatred and dislike--of others and of self--is not inborn, but TAUGHT and LEARNED. It makes sense that this negative self concept I've developed was learned from someone or something; and I would venture to say it comes from my interaction with others in my life. In Sociology I learned that a lot of our self concept comes from how others (family, friends, lovers, people we're interested in etc) view us: our "looking glass self." Moreover the images we're bombarded with on a daily basis are also a major force in our self-concept. When it comes to women you typically hear about living up to the images of supermodels and Barbies, but I think what people ignore is that men go through body image issues as well.
So now that I've determined I have a negative body image--how do I determine what is a positive body image? The NEDA definition of positive body image is:
Positive body image is . . .
- A clear, true perception of your shape--you see the various parts of your body as they really are.
- You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person`s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
- You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories.
- You feel comfortable and confident in your body.
So as part of my health goals, I want to develop a POSITIVE body image by trying to keep these points in mind.
But I want to have a nicely sculpted and muscular body! Is this mutually exclusive with me wanting to have a positive body image? Does me being gay having anything to do with this? And what does this say about male body image in the media? I'll touch on these topics in my next post!
Feel free to comment on what YOU think!
