When it comes to how I think of myself and my body--my body image--there is a definite disconnect. My body weight, shape, and size have been an issue for me since adolescence. I used to (and sometimes still) look in the mirror and criticize my body and think negative thoughts. During the day I'm thinking about how my fatness affects how I look in my clothes. I avoid mirrors. I am wondering if anyone would ever be attracted to me and I'm thinking about how they perceive me (I tend to live in my head at times). I am quite self-conscious. According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), I have a negative body image:
Negative body image is . . .
- A distorted perception of your shape--you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are.
- You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure.
- You feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body.
- You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.
Also they say:
People with negative body image have a greater likelihood of developing an eating disorder and are more likely to suffer from feelings of depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and obsessions with weight loss.
And I can certainly say I have problems with overeating, have had problems being severely depressed about my body (to he point of not wanting to leave the house), and not being at ease in certain social situations. I would say if you looked at my PREVIOUS ENTRIES on this blog, you might get hints of these things as well.
I'm a believer that hatred and dislike--of others and of self--is not inborn, but TAUGHT and LEARNED. It makes sense that this negative self concept I've developed was learned from someone or something; and I would venture to say it comes from my interaction with others in my life. In Sociology I learned that a lot of our self concept comes from how others (family, friends, lovers, people we're interested in etc) view us: our "looking glass self." Moreover the images we're bombarded with on a daily basis are also a major force in our self-concept. When it comes to women you typically hear about living up to the images of supermodels and Barbies, but I think what people ignore is that men go through body image issues as well.
So now that I've determined I have a negative body image--how do I determine what is a positive body image? The NEDA definition of positive body image is:
Positive body image is . . .
- A clear, true perception of your shape--you see the various parts of your body as they really are.
- You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person`s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
- You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories.
- You feel comfortable and confident in your body.
So as part of my health goals, I want to develop a POSITIVE body image by trying to keep these points in mind.
But I want to have a nicely sculpted and muscular body! Is this mutually exclusive with me wanting to have a positive body image? Does me being gay having anything to do with this? And what does this say about male body image in the media? I'll touch on these topics in my next post!
Feel free to comment on what YOU think!
2 comments:
I have a mixture of both but seeing as we are our own worst critics, it is kind of hard to ignore some of the things that are not so favorable!
Hello. I understand greatly what you are expressing but can not say that I have felt the same way-at least not to the extent you've expressed. I have had some issues with my body and the way that I feel around people but I have embraced who I am and love myself without regret. I'm sorry it may seem that I'm a bit off but I simply wish to help you see that your not the only one and that there are others who feel or have felt these same mixed emotions regarding body image.
let me address your thoughts piece by piece.My body weight, shape, and size have been an issue for me since adolescence. I used to (and sometimes still) look in the mirror and criticize my body and think negative thoughts. I also like to pull this part upI'm a believer that hatred and dislike--of others and of self--is not inborn, but TAUGHT and LEARNED. I can see that the irony is not lost on you about this. My self personally, feelings about my body did not come about till puberty were I began to see how easy the other males in my circle were able to attract girls because of their size and or muscles. It took me a while to find out that while yes physical appearance is a factor it's more about your attitude towards ones self. If you feel that you are not attractive or appealing you wont try new things or meet people and it shows.People will gloss over you because of your lack of self worth. I weight 252 lbs but I and every one in my circle know that I feel like there isn't a person I can't get with. It's nice to have a bit of an ego at times. LOL Sorry This is a bit long but just wanted to pull out one last thing But I want to have a nicely sculpted and muscular body! Is this mutually exclusive with me wanting to have a positive body image? Does me being gay having anything to do with this? And what does this say about male body image in the media? To the first two I will say Yes. It is because you are a gay man one that you want a nice tone body because this is the stream line image of the gay male. You have also been taught and learned falsehoods that this is the way "gay" should look. Now this sadly is also true given that gays are no different in giving titles to identify and separate into groups. So the real question is where do you feel you fit in? Also what group of the gay culture do feel people would lump you into and why?
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